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She left home, bye bye…
“She, we gave her most of our lives.
Is leaving , sacrificed most of our lives.
Home, we gave her everything money could buy.”
(lyrics from She’s Leaving Home from Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, the Beatles)
Talk about lifestyle changes. I just joined the ranks of parents who have had to drop their child off at college for the first time. It was tough, very tough…
You see, we have always been a unit; our family. A team of four heading off on vacations or out to dinner or out to a show. Heading off to college was always years away. You know, those years way off in the future when we would have plenty of money to pay those tuition bills. Yeah, right… Those years snuck up on us and grabbed us by the heartstrings before we were really prepared for it. But are you ever prepared to say goodbye to a child, even if you are losing them to academic endeavors?
It was traumatic for me, to say the least. Why was it so traumatic you say?
She was our first.
Our first born. Our angel. The first one we would see crawl, pull herself up to her feet, and take her first steps. The first to put the letters together on the magnetic chalk board and sound out the words. The first to stand on the corner with lunch box in hand, wearing the sweater Grandma crocheted for her, waiting for the first grade bus to take her away from the comfort and security of the only home she has ever known.
She was a joy to have around.
When you live with someone for so long I don’t think you have a true understanding of the effect that person has really had on your life. Until she leaves. My daughter loosened the family up. She had crazy dances and dialects that our family and her friends got to see on a regular basis. Basically she was fun…
We used to get to see her friends regularly.
Now that she is gone we don’t have the opportunity to see and talk with her friends who are also off to college for the first time. You see, my daughter had really good taste in friends. She was very particular in who her friends
were and very discerning in choosing them. When you lose a child to college you’re also losing an extended family of her friends.
My youngest is heartbroken.
It’s not like they were best friends but my youngest child, who is four years younger, is heartbroken. The big sister was the one who would drive her from place to place. She was the one that my youngest would confide in when it came to personal matters. It’s tough to see your kids hurting and even tougher when you are too…
I know that I have written this post as if my daughter was in the past but I know better. What is in the past is our world as we knew it. We know that my eldest will be back every few months for holidays and breaks. It’s just that this is a transition that almost every parent goes through. I understand that. It just doesn’t make it any easier…
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18 Responses to “She left home, bye bye…”
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I love you.
Likewise…
Okay, your two comments above just made me cry… I am four years away from this experience. I hope to move closer to Boston by then so that most of the schools my son is interested in is a quick drive away, even if he does decide to live on campus. I can’t imagine. You addressed all my fears. At least I know there are sympathetic ears out there when our time comes.
Joy,
I’m so glad that you read the post. It is truly a traumatic experience. We are doing much better now. It has been a week and my daughter is thrilled at Bowdoin College. She hasn’t even started classes yet and she has met so many people. I never really had such an experience as I commuted to Northeastern due to lack of funds when I was younger. Paying the tuition bills is a lot easier when you know your daughter is happy.
Best,
Bob
its nice reading it. . Tanx:-)
Hi Don-don,
I appreciate you reading my post. It has gotten a bit easier over the past week especially knowing how happy my daughter is now. Thanks for taking the time.
Best,
Bob
Nice blog. Very effectively done. I haven’t had the experience you describe but I’ve experienced other difficult transitions and I can understand your feelings. But on the bright side think of how much fun it will be to see your daughter on those Holiday breaks. Keep up the good work.
Alan,
I’m glad you enjoyed the post. Drop by again.
Best,
Bob Bessette
Bob. Talk about emotional. I even THINK about this with my daughter (who is only FIVE) and it makes my heart go all soft and my eyes well up. I hope you will talk more about how this new phase of your life is evolving.
Hi Nona,
Thanks for reading the post. The time will fly, believe me. Enjoy them especially at that age. It is a precious time.
Best,
Bob
This is such a sweet and heart felt post. I know your “pain”. My only joined the Navy it’s been 6 years (I know get over it MOM) and he is married and lives in San Diego (Okay just let him go), but the day he left was the hardest day of my life (Yes even worse pain than his birthday).
We raised them well with strong values and convictions, they spread their wings and fly the strait and narrow.
Hi Ms Freeman,
Thanks for visiting. I think that post was my best yet because it really hit home with me. The words came very quickly and I think I was crying while I was writing it. I can relate and I hope your son is doing well and thank him for his service for me.
Best,
Bob
This post just made me cry. Again. It reminded me of my late father. Again. A good reminder. I am their first as well and his Princess. The funny thing is, he never really verbally told me he loved me…until I left home to study….What do they say? Distance makes the heart grow fonder…
Love reading your posts!
Sheila
.-= El Sheila´s last blog ..An old poem =-.
Thanks Sheila,
It looks like I will be tending to my father’s funeral during the upcoming week. He had a great life and he is almost 87 years old. It still doesn’t make it easy. He is the same way as your Dad was. I remember him saying “I love you” once in my life. But, just the way his eyes light up when I visit shows me how much he loves me. Thanks for reading. I really appreciate it.
Best,
Bob
Hi Bob,
My condolences to you and family for your loss. May God grant you His healing grace and may you continue to celebrate your dad’s life…
Sheila
.-= El Sheila´s last blog ..An old poem =-.
El Sheila,
He has not passed yet but the doctor’s were convinced that he would within days. The strange thing is, he appears to be better today than yesterday and this is after he is off all antibiotics. We shall see. By the way, you should get yourself a gravatar so we can see your face..
I came across this site while surfing for some words of inspiration. My oldest child, my son, graduates in two months and I am having trouble dealing with the upcoming events. Your family situation sounds exactly like ours: a close-knit family of four. Your daughter also sounds just like my son: a joy to have around. My son is already getting disgusted with me for feeling so low about this, so I hope that I will soon gain some measure of peace.
Hi Susan,
Believe me, it is a tough time when your child heads off to college for the first time. But, you will persevere and so will your son. Some day he will understand what you are going through when his son or daughter heads off to college for the first time. He must simply realize that the reason you are feeling this way is because you love him so much. I guess it is a rite of passage as a parent to have to go through this ordeal. Hopefully you have some support from your husband or a close loved one during this time. It is extremely tough at first but it does get easier.
Please don’t hesitate to contact me via my Contact Me page or through comments on this blog. Please check out my other posts on college separation anxiety. They will help you deal with it when your son does leave for college.
Best,
Bob