Am I selfish to want this now?

Having recently returned from a 3 day anniversary break with my lovely wife of 24 years, my mind wanders with thoughts of having the freedom to enjoy life as I please. I woke up on one of those mornings during that brief respite to this site from our hotel room of the sun coming up over Penobscot Bay in Maine. This may just be the BEST picture I ever took in my life. I even got a seagull flying in the shot. I’m not a photographer, or anything close to one, but it’s hard arguing the fact that this is very close to vista nirvana.

You see, when I do eventually retire, my wife and I want to have a view of either the water or the mountains from our home. The view seen here would be the ultimate. To be honest, I really don’t want to wait any longer. Heck, I’m 52 years old and I want my freedom NOW!

I want to wake up each morning to a glorious view and sit on the deck and have coffee with my wife overlooking that wondrous vista.

I want to plan our day spontaneously while we are drinking our coffee knowing that there are no deadlines to make or meetings to attend.

Plan the evening meal together and maybe head out to a local Farmer’s Market during the day for fresh produce for that meal.

After coffee I might head into my office or bring the laptop onto the deck to check my email, write a new blog post, and check my online store for any new orders.

I may head out to my workshop and start on a new project. Maybe build something for one of the kids for Christmas.

We could sit and watch a movie in the middle of the day and maybe make up for all of the movies we missed because we never felt comfortable leaving our children in the company of a teenage girl.

We could take a drive along the coast and stop at a clam shack for one of my wife’s favorite foods, whole fried clams.

Visit one of the local wineries that have sprung up in the Northeast in the past few years and partake of some locally produced vino.

Sit at the computer together and design a new website and blog related to a mutual passion and build it in tandem.

Read!… Ah, read a book in the middle of the day rather than reading a page or two, too exhausted to continue, right before I go to sleep each night.

As I read my “during the day” book with the fireplace blazing, the sweet smell of garlic wafts through the air as my wife, a master in the kitchen, prepares a special dinner.

Shake up a couple of martinis, pour, and cheers glasses with my wife as I try to lend a hand in the kitchen.

And wake up each morning with those same freedoms to do what we please. Living life as we see fit.

You see, I’ve been working since I got out of college roughly 30 years ago and I want my freedom! Is this really too much to ask for? But I say all of this with hesitation because I know that there are people struggling out there. They are out of work while their savings are slipping away and they’re counting on soup kitchens to feed their families.

I know that my rant sounds awfully selfish and it is! I recognize that. I have a great job and a loving family, and I know that in time I’ll have everything that I want. But the question remains, will I have my health? Who knows?

So I guess for now I have to keep my nose to the grindstone and keep pushing on. I have a daughter in college and another one that will be there in three years. So I’ll get back to work, keep my nose clean, and tend to my parental financial responsibilities.

But, wouldn’t it be nice to live that life? I hope I find out someday. And I hope it's soon.

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12 thoughts on “Am I selfish to want this now?”

  1. Bob, I think you’re allowed to want what you want now. Such is life. As great as it is, we dream it can be even greater.

    Congratulations on your anniversary. There is always that — getting away for the weekend here and there, letting you create moments to remember, to cherish. Need a reason? To celebrate life, each other, being together, your health…

    • Hi Belinda,
      I hear you and agree wholeheartedly. I don’t think you ever need a reason to celebrate life and each other. I hope you are well and I’ll be dropping by your blog shortly. It’s always an honor when you grace my blog with your perspective and pure positivity!


    • Hi Dia,
      Thanks for the nice comment and I’m glad you enjoyed my post. I do believe that I will get it. I visualize every day that view which is right in my office. My wife and I are on the exact same wavelength with our future move to the North country of Maine. And thanks. Celebrating 24 years these days deserves a celebration. I am very lucky!


  2. hello bob,
    how are you?
    first of all congratulations on your anniversary and i pray for many more years of bliss.
    reading your posts sparks off adventure, comfort, amibition and powerful aspirations and for that i am encouraged.
    imagine if you had no dreams lol!!!
    i dont think the rant is selfish (may be because we think alike). i also find myself asking what would be done if the wheels come off or my health fails, but i am encouraged by each new day, grateful to God for life and give the whole day my best shot and as you’ve said keep pushing on.
    thanks for sharing these thoughts and do have a lovely weekend.

    • Ayo, my friend, how are you? You are one of the most positive people I know and it is always a pleasure when you comment on my blog. I apologize for not getting to yours more often. If I had the time I am visualizing I certainly will have more time to peruse my favorite blogs. I am also encouraged Ayo and for good reason. I have the BEST wife and she is basically just a good person. I don’t think I would’ve made it 24 years with someone who wasn’t. It was a pleasure to write this post and I’m hoping to take more control of my posts and cutting back on guest posts on my blog.


  3. first of all congratulations on your 24yrs wedding anniversary. I totally agree with you. The reason work so hard is to have enjoy life’s simple pleasure with someone your love. i am with you about joy of life. My daughter just attend the college, and we have more time together to go to Farmer’s market or take long lunch together or enjoy cup of coffee. i think most important thing is enjoy the moment with someone you truly love. As I plan my 20th wedding anniversary, your post made me realize what is most important in relationship. Just being together.
    Do not eat to much fried clams.

    • Hi Bob,
      Congratulations on your upcoming 20th anniversary. There is nothing like having the history with a person and being able to share those memories. It takes work on both sides but it is all worth it. I see a lot of couples relationships crumble as the years go by as they grow apart. You have to fight that if you want to keep the relationship strong. I hope your daughter is enjoying college. This is a post from my daughter that she wrote recently on this blog. She is now a sophomore and loving life! I must say that it is easier to pay college bills when the education is working and they are growing as people.

      Thanks so much for your comment and I wish you well with your marriage(although it sounds like you are doing well) and good luck to your daughter in college.


  4. Thanks for this post Bob, it is honest and vunerable and I really appreciate you sharing it. You are not selfish at all. You have vision. You know something else is possible and I know you can achieve it. You are already earning money through writing, so you have created another income stream already. I will watch this space. The first step is getting honest about what you really want and you have done that. 🙂

    Jen x

    • Hi Jen,
      Thanks for your comment. I agree that I can achieve what I am hoping for. I am also in the midst of creating a new revenue stream if you refer to my “Buy my PLR” link above my banner. So, in time, I am hoping that will add some dollars to the coffers. I am very optimistic and having people like you reiterate that helps a lot! I just wish I had the time now but it will come. I know it. Thanks Jen.



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