Winter scene outside my daughter's dorm.

So you’ve just dropped off your child at college for the first time and are feeling the pain.  That final hug was a lot more difficult than you had originally expected.  Your first-born is now among people you do not know, in a completely foreign environment, and you feel the anxiety and feel helpless as a parent.  My eldest daughter left for college for the first time last August.  The trauma of her exodus was detailed in this post.   Ironically, today we just returned from bringing her back to college after her 5-week holiday break at home.  Let’s just say that it was a whole lot easier dropping her off this time.  For those of you who have already gone through this college separation anxiety, congratulations on dealing with it and moving onto another phase of your lives.  After having gone through this heart-wrenching experience, I think I can help out my fellow brethren deal with being separated from their child for possibly the first time.  There are certainly ways to deal with anxiety to make this transition easier, for both you, and your child.

1. Communicate, but give them space.

As a parent, it is important to reach a happy medium with your child, in terms of communication, after they are at their college home. Understanding that your child needs space from you is something that every parent must realize. Your child has been looking forward to this time of independence, so you must honor that independence and limit the correspondence. Let your child dictate how much they want to call, email, or skype with you.  Of utmost importance is to let your child know that you will always be there for them, just as you have been for the previous 18 years of their life.

2. Visit the College Store.

OK, I know that you are paying big tuition bills already, so shelling out any other dough to the school can be tough. But, I am telling you that if you go to the college store and buy a sweatshirt, or a mug for your morning coffee, it will help.  How, you might say? It helps you feel closer to your child. Each morning when you drink that cup of coffee, with the mug from the college, you will think of your child and will feel a closeness to them.  Every time I wear the shirts I bought at my daughter’s college store or wear the hat that she gave me for Christmas, I feel closer to her.  You might say, doesn’t that make it more difficult and remind you more of the distance between you?  Not for me.  It does just the opposite. You are showing pride in their college and this will reflect not only on you, but also on your child.  If your child knows that you are proud of their college choice, it will help them deal with their own separation anxiety. Don’t underestimate the simple act of making some purchases at the college store.  Surprisingly, it really helps soothe those pangs of separation anxiety.

3. Attend Parents Weekend.

We attended Parents Weekend at the end of October. It is a very popular time for the college and it allows the parents to attend a class, if desired.  But, more importantly, it’s a time to see your child, possibly for the first time since that emotional departure. And you also get a chance to get to know their roommates.  At the same time, you have a chance to meet with other parents and talk about what it’s like living away from your children. You will quickly learn that almost all parents share this feeling of separation and it is a common thread in conversation.

4. Subscribe to the College Newspaper.

This may sound simple but one of the hardest things for us, as parents, was the not-knowing.  Not being able to know every step our child was taking, or what was happening with her in the college environment.  Subscribing to the college newspaper has allowed us to feel more a part of our daughter’s life by allowing us to read what is going on, at a certain point in time, at the college.  The articles are written by the students so it allows us to hear what their feelings are and what issues they are faced with at the college.  It also helps us when we speak with our daughter because we can talk about the issues that are prevalent at the college.  This small step will help take away some of the feelings of separation and will allow you to feel closer to your child.

5. Visit, if needed, and if possible.

This may be difficult for some parents, especially if your child is across the country, or potentially in another country. About a month into her first college semester, my daughter came down with symptoms that were eerily similar to the H1N1 virus. There were already students at her school that were being quarantined, or separated from the other students, due to the virus.  My daughter was extremely worried that she was coming down with the virus but, more importantly to her, she was concerned that it would affect her schoolwork.  She was worried about falling behind in her classwork and she had just started her college career.  After speaking with her on the phone, my wife drove up there and brought her to the infirmary for tests. 

As it turned out, she didn’t have the virus, and was over the symptoms in a few days.  My daughter’s college is about two hours away from our house, in a neighboring state.  So being able to drive to visit her, at the drop of a hat, is convenient. Having my wife there, if only for a few hours, was tremendous for both of them.  It helped my daughter deal with this short-term illness, and it helped us a lot because one of us was able to be there for her.  I can’t stress enough how happy we are that we are only a couple of hours away from my daughter.  My daughter was accepted at colleges halfway across the country but, luckily, she was accepted into her first-choice college, which is within driving distance from our house.  If we couldn’t be with her at that time, the separation anxiety would’ve been extremely tough to deal with.

If you are contemplating dropping your child off at college someday, try to learn from others who have already had to deal with this life transition.  There are actionable steps that you can take to minimize the anxiety of being away from your angel.  If you take part in the college experience, albeit remotely, and show your child that you have

pride in their college, it will certainly help you deal with the separation anxiety.  Communicate, but know that this is their time of independence from you. Let them dictate how much they want to keep in touch.  Most importantly, when they do come home on breaks, and in the summer, welcome them home with open arms.  It takes a little time, but those feelings of college separation anxiety will decrease. Implement these various ways to deal with anxiety and, believe me, it will help a lot. It’s really tough at first but, in time, you will be able to emotionally deal with this new phase of your life.

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This is a guest post by Mike Crimmins. If you want to guest post on this blog, click here to get more information.

For some people coffee is nothing more than brown water and a source of caffeine. For other people it’s an experience like tasting wine, exploring new regions of the world as well as different parts of your tongue.

Once you’ve tasted good coffee, you’ll never want to go back to that stale ground coffee that comes in huge plastic bins. The good news is that you don’t have to spend a fortune to get great tasting coffee every morning. Here are some tips to help you when it comes to your cup of joe each morning.

Step 1

Buy a coffee grinder and whole beans. You can purchase a decent grinder for twenty bucks. The reason that you need a grinder is that ground coffee goes stale in fifteen minutes. Want to guess how long it was sitting on the grocery store shelf before you picked it up?

Step 2

Buy only enough coffee to last a week or two. There might be a great deal if you buy in bulk, but by the time you get around to using that coffee it’s going to be stale, even if you buy whole beans you’ll be able to taste the difference after two weeks.

Step 3

Use better water. Most tap water contains some sort of minerals or chemicals that aren’t harmful to you, but can be harmful to your coffee. They can change the flavor of your coffee and not in the good way. You can buy a Brita pitcher or a water filter for a faucet for relatively cheap. Plus, you’ll be able to use it for more than just your morning brew.

Step 4

Use two scoops of coffee per cup of water you put into the coffee maker. For some people that might be too strong, but it’s what’s recommended by the experts. Normally, I don’t agree with the coffee snobs, but this time they’re on to something. Try two scoops first, then adjust it your preferences. The majority of people make their coffee so weak that you can practically see through it, missing out on a lot of the great flavors. A single cup coffee maker is a great option for a single person or if you wake up earlier than everyone else to head off to work.

Step 5

Try new coffees. If you like your coffee strong, try some dark roasts. If you’re on the other side of the spectrum, check out some flavored coffees or coffees from Africa. There’s great coffees from counties like Ethiopia that have taste almost wine-like and very easy to drink for fans of lighter roasts.

Step 6

Just for me, try your coffee without any sugar, milk or creamer. I discovered that with fresh coffee, I didn’t need hide the taste with sweeteners and artificial flavors.

Step 7

Store your extra coffee beans in something that’s air tight, out of light and in a cool dry spot. Air, heat and water are good ways to ruin coffee quickly, so after you open up the bag, put the extra coffee into an air tight canister.

There’s so much more that can be done to get better tasting coffee, but start with these tips and you’ll see a huge difference tomorrow morning.

This guest article was written by Mike Crimmins.  He is the caffeinated blogger behind Daily Shot Of Coffee, a blog for the average joe coffee drinker. You can also follow Mike on Twitter.

If you want to guest post on this blog, click here to get more information.

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There is something about the spring and the fall that triggers a cleansing gene.  If you live in a harsh climate, the spring is relegated to cleanup from the winter.  The coolness of the fall invigorates the body and mind to work on projects before the winter bears down.

Removing clutter, organizing, and upgrading is the pattern of how this cleansing process unfolds.

DeClutter

Whether it is in your space at work, or in your home, there are areas that you occupy that have clutter.  Dictionary.com defines the noun clutter as a “disorderly heap or assemblage; litter“.  However it’s defined, you know it when you see it.  Removing clutter at work and home can be very gratifying.

Remove virtual clutter from your computer desktop.

I like to have a simple background on my screen and if it is cluttered with unused icons I definitely think it can have a negative effect on my work.

Regularly clean your actual desktop.

Clutter runs rampant on many an actual desktop in the workplace.  By maintaining a clean work surface, the ability to focus on your “big rocks” list becomes that much easier.

Closet Maintenance

Take a morning or an afternoon and make a decision to either keep that shirt or bag it and give it to Goodwill.  You may even have enough for a decent charitable donation to deduct on your taxes this year.

Tend to the kitchen cabinets, drawers, and countertops.

If there is one place in your home that will accumulate more unused product than any other it’s your kitchen cabinets.  Clearing them out and cleaning up may also give you a chance to potentially eat, and not waste, those groceries that you bought some time ago but are still within their expiration date. You can also pick up some kitchen cabinet organizers which will help you organize the contents of your cabinets. And if your kitchen drawers are also full of clutter then dumping them out and adding some kitchen drawer organizers will help you find whatever you need whenever you need it. Clearing off your kitchen countertops will also go a long way toward a more organized kitchen and picking up some simple storage solutions such as kitchen canister sets and a kitchen utensil holder will help you easily access those often-used dry ingredients and kitchen utensils.

Organize

Merriam-Webster online defines the word organize as “to form into a coherent unity or functioning whole“.  After you declutter the next step is to organize.  Being an avid woodworker I like to organize my shop so that I will always know where my tools will be the next time I need them.

Paper can still be your organizing choice.

With the advent of “everything electronic”, the use of a simple day timer is still the choice of many to stay organized.  Every time I work on or complete a task, I write it on the printed calendar to track my hours.  At the end of each day my hourly project work is transferred from the printed paper into a project tracking software.

Hanging files.

There are so many products today for organizing the workplace but one, in particular, is hanging files.  There are also versions of the hanging files that will sit on the desktop but, the way I look at it, why not use the real estate of the walls of your cubicle or office instead of adding more clutter to your desktop.

Your walls can be your friend.

If you have a basement room that you cannot walk in, simply put up shelves on a couple of walls by buying adjustable shelf brackets from your local big box store.  You can use some old planks that you have lying around the house for the shelves or have them cut to size at the same big box store.  Organize everything that was on the floor onto the shelves and you have room to walk and a room that you can actually use now.

Use the space behind the door.

One of the most unique uses of space I have seen used in my own home is a behind the door storage unit.  It basically converted a hall closet into a pantry.  Try it!  You will be amazed at the added storage you now have at very little cost.

Upgrade

Making small improvements in both your workplace and your home in the form of upgrades can certainly be beneficial to your life.

Purchase a headset.

One of the most liberating purchases at work that I have made in the past year is adding a headset to my phone.  The headset has given me the ability to have my hands available to conduct a training session or to give a presentation over the internet.  They are not expensive and your company should have no problem springing for it.

Comfortable seating.

According to Dictionary.com the term ergonomics is “the applied science of equipment design, as for the workplace, intended to maximize productivity by reducing operator fatigue and discomfort“.  In recent years companies have placed particular emphasis on ergonomics in the workplace.  An upgrade to your work chair such as a reclining office chair could alleviate or eliminate any back-related injuries and, chances are, your company will pay to keep you healthy.

Paint a room.

One of the cheapest upgrades you can make in your home or apartment is to paint a room. You can completely transform the look and feel of a room with a gallon or two of paint for about $50 total.  Apart from the esthetic change in the room, you will feel

great knowing that you did this yourself and for a small amount of money and some sweat equity.

Purchase a slow cooker.

Another great purchase that we made in our home within the past year is a slow cooker.  In this day and age where time is precious and limited, a slow cooker is a great time saver.  It allows you to create a meal ahead of time and it will cook throughout the day whether you are home or not.  The meals that you can cook with a slow cooker are unlimited.  We tend to have chili, stews, and pulled pork with our slow cooker.  There are a myriad of cookbooks specifically written for slow cookers.  You not only can let it cook unattended but it also fills your house with an aroma that makes it so nice to come home to.

No matter what the season, cleaning up, removing clutter, organizing, and upgrading can be your steps toward cleansing your space as well as your mind.

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