This is a guest post by Pamelia Brown. If you’d like to guest post on this blog, click here.
Parents warn their children of the heartache that can come with being in a relationship and eventually ending romantic relationships, but rarely do they touch on how to get over a break up with a best friend which is something that happens quite frequently in college. Why?
In short, college is a self-discovery experience where students grow and change. Some grow and change so much that they no longer see eye-to-eye with their bestie and the friendship disintegrates, sometimes through a natural falling out, other times via a heated argument.
While some understand that this is just a part of life and friends come and go, others don’t take friendship breakups so lightly, especially with those that they’ve known since childhood. In fact, some find friendship breakups even more painful than ending it with a boyfriend or girlfriend. But it’s important that you don’t let the distress of being dumped by a friend affect your studies, your health or job responsibilities, if you are employed. Instead, follow the tips listed below to learn how to get over a break up more gracefully.
If you and your best friend are no longer speaking due to an argument and you still want to preserve the friendship, it’s important that you act like an adult and talk it through. Take a few days to cool off if need be but do try to resolve the issue, especially if you are in the wrong. Apologize and see if you can move past the issue and continue being friends.
If you are not in the wrong, it’s equally important that you are not immature and block your friend’s number so they can’t contact you. On a similar note, don’t “blast” your friend on Facebook, post “subliminal” tweets (indirect snarky comments) or delete them entirely from your social networking site(s) right away. While this type of behavior is generally a defensive mechanism practiced by younger people, know that this type of impulsive reaction will just make the situation worse. If after talking it through and either one of you decides the friendship is over, then you may proceed with deleting them from social networking sites if you choose to do so, but not until after a talk has been completed.
Appreciate other Friends
If you are extremely hurt by the friendship fall out, it’s important that you remind yourself about all the other great friends that you have in your life: the ones who still want to have a relationship with you. No longer being friends with someone who you once considered a best friend can be tough, but don’t get caught up and neglect the other great friends you have. Always remember you can also turn to your family for emotional support and comfort as well.
Lastly, keep yourself busy. An excellent way to speed up the healing process is to indulge in activities that you find enjoyable or by simply studying more. Schoolwork might be the last thing on your mind but reading and studying can actually serve as a temporary escape. When your mind is focused on something else, such as schoolwork, you have less time to worry about that “friend” you lost. If you follow the advice listed here it should help you learn how to get over a break up with a friend in college.
This guest contribution was submitted by Pamelia Brown, who specializes in writing about the associates degree.