Totally Unique Life

Do you have to train people at work?

Bob Bessette — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 16:43:02 +0000

In my latest post on WorkAwesome, I wrote an article called 11 Tips for Training People at Work. If you have ever had to give a training class at your workplace you may find this post interesting and informative. It is no small feat to put together a first-rate training class on any topic. These steps help you to do it right the first time. If you have any other suggestions that could add to the article please leave them as comments here or on WorkAwesome.

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5 Steps to Prepare you for the Empty Nest

Bob Bessette — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 13:55:18 +0000

My wife and I are heading for the time in our lives when the kids are gone. You know, that time so aptly called the Empty Nest. Our eldest headed off to college last year at this time and our youngest has three more years of high school. We know how quickly those three years can go so we’re definitely starting to talk about life after kids. When your oldest leaves for college it really takes a toll on you and it makes you realize that time is fleeting and, before you know it, you’ll be by yourselves. Watching your kids grow and become independent adults is just a reality that all parents inevitably experience.

I know of a coworker who got divorced shortly after his kids left the house. He pretty much stated that the kids had consumed their lives and when it came to just being alone, he and his wife had nothing to talk about. There was no communication when the kids weren’t there. Some may say that this couple should never have gotten married in the first place and that may be true. But I can see how children can monopolize a married couples’ life and it could be a shock when those children have left the home.

Preparing for that time in your life is important. Getting a head start on what your world will be like in that soon-to-be reality, may help a lot when that inevitable time comes. This post details some steps that you can take now that may make that time in your life exciting and alluring rather than hollow and depressing.

1. Start communicating… Now!

In the not-too-distant past, I came home from work and immediately sat at my computer screen perusing various blogs and commenting on them or working on posts for my own blog. At the same time, my wife would be in the other room watching her favorite cooking shows. Realizing that my blogging was getting in the way of communicating with my wife, I made it a point to cease and desist from turning on my computer when I got home. Now the highlight of my day is the precious few hours after I return home from work. My wife and I have a drink and sit together and talk about our day. We have both made it a priority to take that time together to communicate. It may sound simple and it really is. But taking the time and making that a priority is the tough part. If you start communicating regularly now, then this communication should follow through during the times when the kids are out of the house.

2. Nurture and develop your common interests.

Fortunately, my wife and I have a lot in common. Obviously, this factor came into play when it came to getting married in the first place. A major priority in our life is eating well. My wife’s cooking skills are exemplary and we have always made it a priority to share dinner all together as a family. So, the priority of eating well has been passed on to our children as well. Recently, my wife and I have made it a habit to frequent local farmers markets so that we can acquire the freshest and most wholesome produce money can buy. The difference in the taste in farm produce versus store-bought produce is remarkable. We also like the fact that we are contributing to local farms and the local community. One of the things that we communicate about during the day is what meal we are going to have that evening. It has become the focus of our conversations. I have also started to develop more grilling skills as we have recently gone back to using charcoal. So food has been, and will continue to be, a common bond between my wife and me. We also have other common interests such as woodworking, gardening, and the theatre but food, and of course our children, will always be a main focal point in our lives.

3. Take advantage of the time together.

Due to the fact that my eldest is away at college and our youngest daughter is oftentimes out with friends, we definitely have had more time together. It is certainly a lot easier to find the time than it was years ago. These times are preparing us for when both children will be out of the house. We have really been taking advantage of this time alone by spending it together rather than doing separate activities. We might simply watch a cooking show that interests us, listen to music, or just sit and talk outside next to the garden. Whatever it is, it has been a pleasant time and we are making the most of it. I have also vowed to spend at least one day a month together. It could be that I might take a vacation day and spend the day together or we will take a drive to the beach on a weekend. Just making it a point to be together should be a priority.

4. You don’t have to do everything together.

Even though you want to make time to be with your partner, it is still very important to have private time. They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Maintain your individual interests and the time to pursue those interests. For me, it might be going to the gym on my own or working on a landscaping project. I just recently had a great day with my wife and we were each doing separate activities. My wife was inside the house baking bread and preparing our meal for dinner and I was working on a woodworking project in my shop. This is the type of day that I envision when I am retired. Maybe we’ll spend some of the day together but we’ll also each be concentrating on separate activities. And at the end of the day, we’ll sit down together for a pre-dinner drink, talk about our day, and look forward to a tremendous meal.

5. Talk and dream about your future together.

This, to me, is the best part. If you don’t start envisioning what your future will be like, it will never materialize. The thing is, we are now close enough to that future that we can actually start talking about where we want to live. We know that we both want to have a panoramic view from our house. Our current home has been great. For over 20 years we have lived in a place that was perfect to raise a family. Now that this time of our life is coming to an end, there really is no need to stay where we are currently living. So it has been fun to speculate about where we will live. Over the next three years we are hoping to travel to areas that interest us. Sharing this search together will make the next three years exciting.

Granted, I have not lived the empty nest scenario so I can’t speak from experience. I am not a trained psychiatrist, psychologist, nor a therapist. I’m just a guy who is doing his best to find his way to a happy future with my wife. And I definitely think that we are on the right path. Hopefully, that path that will lead to a fulfilling life together, without the company of our children, engaged in activities that will be enriching and mutually rewarding.

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Should you switch to a health savings account?

Bob Bessette — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 19:53:12 +0000

In my latest post on WorkAwesome, I discuss why it might make sense for you to consider switching to a High Deductible Health Plan (HDHP). This type of health plan is all the rage these days and has become increasingly popular over the past few years. If you have this option at your work you may find this post very informative. In the past I have paid a set amount of money for my health care and, if I didn’t have many health issues to pay for, I would still have to pay the same amount. With an HDHP you can keep the money that you don’t use at the end of each year. It will simply stay in your account and you can use it the following year. This type of plan may require a little more record keeping but I think it is worth it. I hope you enjoy the article and leave a comment here or on WorkAwesome.

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Check out my Top 5

Bob Bessette — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 13:41:58 +0000

Through the wonder of Google Analytics, we, as blog owners, can monitor what posts or pages are popular on our blogs. It helps us to gauge what type of content is of interest to our audience. Continually reviewing and analyzing metrics related to your blog is one of the jobs of a successful blog owner. Talk to any successful blog owner and they will tell you historically what were their most popular posts. This goes hand-in-hand with the old adage that says:

“You can’t improve what you don’t measure.”

So I would like to share with you my Top 5 pages and welcome you to read them. So let’s get on with it.

5 Important Benefits of Time Management for Students – This was a guest post by Adrienne Carlson and ended up being my most viewed page each month. It details 5 benefits that come with a student managing their time. This post also highlights the benefits of guest posting on another blog. If your post is popular, you will continue to get more and more exposure.
Why I left SquareSpace for WordPress – When I started my blog I used a blogging platform called SquareSpace. I loved it but it lacked much of the functionality I saw out there in WordPress blogs. Also, I found the SquareSpace support unparalleled which made it really difficult for me to leave. But, through the assistance of a WordPress consultant, I was able to convert all of my historical posts over to my new WordPress theme. To be honest, it was the best thing I could’ve done and I’m very happy on WordPress. But, if you are contemplating such a conversion you may be interested in this post.
5 Parental Tips for Dealing with College Separation Anxiety – In the past year, my wife and I have had to deal with living away from our eldest who left us for college. We found some fairly simple steps in dealing with this life-changing event. If you are a parent facing such an event, I’m sure you will enjoy reading this post.
Cubicle Bliss: 10 Steps to create an inspiring workspace – I have been living in a cubicle for many years as a full-time employee. I put together 10 tips that just may help you live in this world a little more positively and enjoyably. I hope you can take some of these tips and incorporate them into your working cubicle life.
Guest Writers – This is a page that I came up with upon seeing a similar page on another blogger’s website. What I found very attractive about this page when I saw it elsewhere was that it highlighted a writer who agreed to do a guest post for you. I always supply the link to the post that the person wrote for my blog and a link to their website should they have one. This page has certainly become very popular on my blog. If you’d like to write for this blog please check out the guidelines here and contact me through my Contact Me page.

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Want to try a pomegranate cosmopolitan?

Bob Bessette — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 12:53:24 +0000

Please check out my latest post on Work Awesome. It is the recipe for a pomegranate cosmopolitan. Pomegranates are in vogue these days in both cooking and drinks. I have started introducing 100% pomegranate juice into my drinks of late and this cosmo really hits the spot. You can use this same recipe using grape, cranberry, or pretty much any type of juice. I always stick with the 100% juice because if you don’t you will notice on the label that the predominant ingredient is apple juice. You’ll pay a little more but it is definitely worth it to get the 100% juice. Enjoy.

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Any interest in a frozen margarita?

How Your College Student Wants You to Behave.

Lianna Bessette — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 15:29:29 +0000

This is a guest post by my daughter, Lianna Bessette. If you want to guest post on this blog, click here to get more information.

DISCLAIMER: Although I am in college, I do not necessarily hold the same views as all college students. I cannot be held responsible for any variations in opinion among others of my kind.

I am 19 years old, and I’m a rising college sophomore. A year ago, I was living in my parents’ house, abiding by my parents’ rules. This summer, I’m actually right back where I was. A lot has changed, however, over the past year. Like so many other families, my family and I lived comfortably in the confines of traditional parent/child roles for years, but these roles had to change with the times. I wasn’t sure how I wanted our relationship to function, to change, until I left. Now I know how a college student’s brain works. I know that this is how we wish our parents would act.

Be interested, but don’t be nosy.

I really enjoy being able to tell my parents about the new things I learn and experience, but I like being able to keep things from them, too. I’m not even talking about important things or big secrets, but it’s nice to be able to choose what to share. For example, I once didn’t tell my parents I was auditioning for a play until I got a callback. It was fun to tell my parents about my accomplishment without them expecting it. We want you to understand our separate lives, but we want to be able to have some control over what you know. It’s not conniving; it’s just the way life works when living away from home.

Don’t expect me to contact you every single day.

I love talking to my parents, but I just don’t have time to call or email every day. We’re busy here, you know. I like to get emails, but my favorite way to communicate is a 20-30 minute phone conversation once or twice a week. That works for me. Some of my friends don’t contact their families for weeks or months at a time. One of my roommates did talk to her parents every day. It all depends on how we like to communicate. Don’t be offended it we don’t contact you. College is different, and we have a lot to do. We still love you.

Don’t make us lie to you.

My parents are really cool about drinking in college. They understand that it’s part of the culture, and we’ve had mature conversations about drinking responsibly. Months ago, my parents asked me if I partied, I answered truthfully, and they didn’t chastise me for my answer. I personally think this is the best way for a parent to act in this situation. Because I don’t view alcohol as a taboo substance, I don’t abuse it. Some of my friends’ parents have asked them the same question, and, when they answered truthfully, they were punished. Not all college students drink, but many do. We don’t want to lie to you. If you don’t want to know, please don’t ask.

We want you to care.

We want you to miss us even if we love being away from home. We want you to come to Parents’ Weekend (or at least want to come to Parents’ Weekend) even if we don’t necessarily want you in our domain. We want you to buy apparel and bumper stickers from the bookstore even if it’s embarrassing when you flaunt it. We want you to send us baked goods every so often even though dining hall food is probably making us fat already. We want you to be proud of us because going to college means something.

This past year, my parents and I realized that altering the roles we were so used to wasn’t nearly as scary as we thought it might be. The smooth transition my family made to college life made coming back home for the summer easy and, to be honest, a lot of fun. I can’t imagine what it’s like to become the parent of a college student, but my parents got the hang of it pretty quickly. You’ll figure it out, too.

Lianna Bessette is a member of Bowdoin College’s class of 2013. She is an English major and teaching minor. Although Lianna does not have a public blog of her own, she writes in her journal obsessively.

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10 Life-changing benefits of the internet age.

Bob Bessette — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 16:10:38 +0000

Please check out my latest post on Work Awesome. It is the 10 Life-changing benefits of the internet age. The internet has led to many conveniences in our lives that I think some of us take for granted. For those of us who were around before the internet exploded onto the scene, I think we tend to appreciate the advances of the internet age. I would love to see in the comments some of the advances that you feel that the internet has given you. I hope you will enjoy this article and I welcome you to leave any comments on WorkAwesome or below.

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Any interest in a frozen margarita?

Bob Bessette — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 22:57:56 +0000

Please check out my latest post on Work Awesome. It is the world’s best frozen margarita recipe. I guarantee that if you follow this recipe you will enjoy a fabulous drink that will help you unwind either at the end of a tough work day or on the weekend. I’ve been perfecting this recipe for years and I believe that this is comparable to any you will find out there at any bar. I don’t use any margarita mix in this recipe. Everything is made from scratch which is the reason it is so fantabulous. Take my word for it. You will enjoy it. If you try it please let me know how you liked it.

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Want to try a pomegranate cosmopolitan?

5 Hiking Safety Tips

Bob Bessette — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 20:54:23 +0000

Hiking is a tremendous activity to do either by yourself, or with your family. Day hikers head out into the wild for a trip up a local mountain or on a local trail but, oftentimes, forget to prepare for a potential mishap. Simple preparation and simply being safety-conscious, can make the difference between an enjoyable afternoon and an unfortunate experience. Taking the proper precautions is easy to do, but not everyone does it. Being an avid hiker, I make it a point to prepare for the worst, even though I am still looking forward to a fun day communing with nature.

1. Water, water, and more water.

The #1 safety tip is to ensure that you bring enough water with you. Obviously, the temperatures in which you will be hiking should dictate how much water you should bring. If you are not sure how much to carry with you, you can always ask the park ranger when you are parking at the bottom of the mountain or trail and then fill up your water bottle accordingly. If there is no place to refill your water at the summit, or along the way, my suggestion is to bring with you at least a quart of water per hour of hiking. I like to use the wide mouth hard plastic water bottles and fill them with plenty of ice and water before the hike. If you are going to pack more of anything on your hike, pack too much water. As an added precaution, pick up some iodine pills which can be used to treat water if you are forced to fill up your water bottle in a stream or other body of water. The water bottles will be heavy at the beginning of your hike, but once you drink a few of them, your pack will get lighter

2. Buy some decent hiking boots.

This may sound like a no-brainer but I’ve seen people hiking in sandals. Proper ankle support and traction underfoot are extremely important, especially on a slick trail. I discovered this the hard way by using an old pair of hiking boots, and slipped and fell on a wet rock as I was descending the mountain. I tried to brace my fall with my right arm and I ended up with a torn rotator cuff I had operated on a couple of years ago. Don’t make the same mistake I did. Invest in a pair of decent hiking boots.

3. Tell someone about your hike.

Leave all of the pertinent information with a loved one about when you left, where you went, and when you plan on returning. If possible, map out the trails that you plan on taking and leave a copy with that person. And, if at all possible, hike with someone else rather than taking on nature solo.

4. Bring a First Aid Kit.

A few weeks ago, I went hiking with my two daughters and my nephew. It took us about two hours to ascend the mountain and a little less to descend. On the descent, my eldest was holding onto a branch to support herself and her feet slipped out from under her on a pretty slick rock. As a result, she tumbled and got a bruise on her side and on her arm. Fortunately, we brought along a first aid kit and we were able to quickly treat the wound and, in short order, we were on our merry way. It cannot hurt to stop at the local pharmacy and pick up a small first aid kit just in case. You would rather not have to use it, but if you have to, you will be glad you brought it along.

5. Accessorize.

It would be wise to bring along the following accessories with you, even if you are only planning a day hike.

Cell Phone – You may not get any reception on your hike, but it cannot hurt to bring along a cell phone. You never know when it can come in handy.

Compass – It is always wise to bring along a compass should you happen to get off the trail and don’t know which direction in which you should walk. A compass could help and it won’t add any weight to your pack.

Flashlight – Even though you are planning a day hike, your route may be altered due to work on the trail or for some other unknown reason. Your schedule for when you were supposed to be back at the car may suffer as a result. If darkness sets in, a flashlight could be a lifesaver. Once again, it will be negligible as far as extra weight in your pack.

Bug Spray – Depending on the time of year and the amount of rain that has recently fallen, bugs could be a major factor. Bringing along a heavy duty bug spray could pay big dividends.

Snacks – Healthy snacks such as protein bars, trail mix, and fruit will continually give you the energy reserves that you need to get up and down the mountain.

A day hike can be a lot of fun for you and your family. But, it is important to proceed with caution as a fun day in the sun could turn tragic before you know it. Having thoroughly prepared yourself for your trip, in terms of safety, could be the best thing that you could do. Hopefully everything will go smoothly but, in case it doesn’t, you will be ready to safely deal with anything that could come up.

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Check out my interview.

Bob Bessette — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 17:15:49 +0000

I was recently interviewed by Paul Cunningham at BloggingTeacher. Paul is an experienced blogger who has been around the blogosphere for a while. Blogging Teacher provides articles, tips and tutorials to help bloggers overcome the many challenges they face building a successful blog. He occasionally requests interviews from fellow bloggers and I willingly obliged. I hope you enjoy reading the interview. Check it out here. If you are so inclined please leave a comment either here or on his blog. You also may want to subscribe to Paul’s blog as it is extremely educational and informative.

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