(This post is dedicated to my sister-in-law Anne, who passed from this life on 10/22/2011 at 57 years old.)

As I write this I am sitting in a plane heading home from California, the day after attending the funeral of my sister-in-law Anne.  She was diagnosed with cancer in July and, three months later, on October 22^nd she passed from this life at the young age of 57.  Oh, how quickly someone can be taken away from a loving family and friends.  It makes you sit back and think a little bit more about your life and how you are living it.

It was a very moving funeral service with five different people eulogizing her life, each one as eloquent as the previous, honoring a wife, mother, baby sister, and close friend.  This was the first funeral I attended since the death of my father over a year ago.  It hit me hard and I welled up with tears on numerous occasions.  My brother Joe was stoic throughout the ceremony and his eulogy, but his tears were shed before this day, within the past few weeks, when he knew it was just a matter of time before his loving wife would be by his side no more.  A rather strange and cruel twist of fate turned out to be the fact that Anne’s youngest brother Bill passed away two days earlier from the same illness.  So, within a few days, family members attended two funerals only to be left with mere memories of their loved ones.

I can honestly say that I didn’t truly know my sister-in law.  We lived 3000 miles away from each other and saw each other’s families about once a year.  When she spent time with our family it was so much fun.  She had a quick wit and a hearty, contagious laugh.  One regret I do have is not making a real effort to get to know her better.  When they visited I typically concentrated on spending time with my oldest brother, a man I admire and for which I have the utmost respect.  Hearing the many accolades from family and friends at the funeral opened my eyes to the kind, selfless, and caring person Anne truly was.

I was fortunate to have spoken on the phone to Anne approximately two weeks before she passed.  I told her I was praying for her and she said that she felt truly blessed and rather overwhelmed by the heartfelt outpouring of love showered upon her in those declining months and weeks.  Those sentiments were echoed yesterday at the most moving ceremony honoring an individual that I have ever had the opportunity to witness.  Shortly before her death, as my brother recanted in his eulogy, Anne awoke in her bed one night and uttered to Joe “I am happy”.  I think that gave my brother some solace in a rather turbulent and tragic time of his life.

My brother and niece will be fine. They are strong, as are Anne’s three children from her first marriage.  Her brother, the last remaining sibling, will forever hold onto the loving memories of his baby sister.  At the post-funeral reception at my brother’s house I spoke to a woman who had five daughters who attended the school where Anne had worked.  She described Anne with a rather glowing tribute.

“She was an angel who walked among us.”

I just wish I got to know that Anne, the one that the people who came in contact with her on a regular basis, knew and loved.  Don’t make the mistake I did.  Get to know the angels in your life because, you never know, they may be taken from you much too soon.

Rest in peace Anne. We will all miss your wit, your hearty laugh, your caring nature, and your beautiful smile.

This is a guest post by Christine Kane. If you’d like to guest post on this blog, click here.

Did you ever see The Bucket List movie with Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson? If not, it’s one of those movies that’s a little hokey but can be a tear-jerker and has an underlying motivational life-lesson as the theme. It follows Freeman and Nicholson as they both battle cancer and decide that they need to get out and

really experience their lives before they die. They do so by writing out their bucket lists and doing whatever they need to do to cross everything off.

Which brings me to my next question: when is the last time you did something that you really wanted to do? Something that you thought ‘man, I’ve waited my whole life to do this!’?Something that added value to your life? We tend to get so wrapped up in our day to day lives and all the tasks we “have to do” – such as laundry and grocery shopping – that  sometimes we forget that we need to just live our lives sometimes and do the things we want to do too. Making a bucket list will get you closer to accomplishing those things that you want to do.

Making a Bucket List

Writing out a list of all the things you want to accomplish before you die sounds a little morbid, I know, but we tend to spend so much time focusing on our daily “to-do” lists that we forget we need to get outside and do some things that scare us!

Get out of your Safety Zone

I think it’s important to take time every day, week, month, etc. to do something that scares us and gets us out of

our self-inflicted bubbles of safety. And I don’t mean things that put you in harm’s way, but things that you never thought you’d be able to accomplish, when really you’ve been the only thing holding you back from just getting out there and doing it. If we never make goals, how will we ever push ourselves in life?

Concentrate on Happiness

Actually writing out a list also takes you one step closer to actually doing those things. It doesn’t matter what you add to the list, so long as they’re things that will make you happy. Maybe its wine tasting in Napa Valley or sky-diving or taking an introduction to photography class – anything and everything goes when it comes to writing a bucket list.

Check off what you Accomplish

The great thing about having a bucket list is that it can evolve over time as you cross things off and add things to it. Make sure to go through and regularly update it, adding in new ideas and removing ones that are no longer relevant. The point is to always have something to work towards that will make you happy.

Take an afternoon and watch The Bucket List.  Then take 30 minutes, sit down, and really reflect on what you want to do with your life. Write down in your bucket list anything and everything that comes to mind, no matter how ridiculous it may seem. And then start taking steps in the right direction to accomplish those things. Live a little. After all, you only live once.

Disclaimer: The image above of The Bucket List movie and the text, The Bucket List, are Amazon affiliate links.

This guest article was written by Christine Kane from internet providers. She is a graduate of Communication and Journalism and enjoys writing about a wide-variety of subjects for different blogs.

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I used to work with a guy years ago who oftentimes would use the expression:

“You make your own fun”.

And, at the time, I really didn’t think much about the expression.  It was just something he would spout every now and again.  But lately, that same expression has been coming back to me and it really hits home.  If you don’t make your own fun then you certainly cannot count on others to entertain you.  But how is it that I try to make my own fun in my life?  With age, and maybe a little more wisdom, I’ve learned that if you don’t make your own fun, then your life can become monotonous and well, not fun…

Have something to look forward to…

I think this one is the most important tip.  I make it a point to have interesting activities that I can look forward to.  For example, I already have plans to take a trip to the seashore with my wife for our anniversary, four months from now.  OK, it’s four months away, but that four months will fly by.  In the meantime, I have that experience to look forward to.  My wife and I can scour the internet for interesting things that we can do in that area.  We also are lovers of great food and we MUST have great meals when we are on any type of vacation, even if it is only for two nights.  We can use websites like TripAdvisor where you can find reviews of restaurants, hotels, and can find cheap flights to reasonable destinations.  I have used this site repeatedly to find lodging (like the seashore lodging I just spoke of) and restaurants.  I particularly love that others will review where they have stayed and where they have eaten.  What is also great is that you can create an account and then ask a question of the person who wrote the review.  What could be sweeter than that? I was actually able to email someone who wrote a review and that person stayed in the exact same room I will be staying in four months from now.

Invite friends over you haven’t seen for a while…

Fortunately, I have a wife who can cook as well as any chef on the Food Network.  We love to entertain but lately, as we have aged, we have gotten away from seeing friends that we used to see regularly.  Make that call and invite those old friends over for dinner.  If you cannot cook, order out and make some really good drinks for the occasion.  Check out the internet and find a great recipe for mai tais or cosmopolitans.  You could even buy a few good wines and have a wine tasting party.  Be creative but, more importantly, it is the time you are spending with your friends that really matters.

Get with Nature…

This past Father’s Day weekend, my daughters, my nephew, and I, hiked up a local mountain. We planned the route ahead of time and my daughters made it a special day by going out and buying bandanas for each of us on the hike. They also decorated each bandana based on who was going to wear it. My wife made us a delectable lunch that we were able to eat at the summit, as well as a trail mix that we snacked on along the way at various breaks where there were breathtaking views. On the ride to and from the mountain, my daughters acted as disc jockeys selecting various songs from their iPods. Upon our return, once again, my wife had a tremendous dinner of soft tacos and all the fixings prepared. A couple of well-deserved beverages were also consumed at dinner. Getting closer to nature is a very affordable way to make your own fun.

Get active and help out…

Helping out in the community in which you live can be very rewarding, and fun!  My wife and I help out with the theater program at my daughter’s high school by building the sets.  Being an avid woodworker, it really isn’t what I would call fine woodworking, but it is using my hands and woodworking tools.  This is the fun part for me.  I find building anything very satisfying.  There are many other ways you can help out in your community by volunteering at your local soup kitchen or helping out any local charity.  Giving blood is another experience everyone should take part in.  You’ll find the other donors very interesting and you’d be surprised how good you will feel afterwards.  You may find that helping out your fellow man can be a lot of fun and just may give you a new outlook on your own life.

Tackle a project.

If you own a home, or rent for that matter, there is always a project that you can attend to.  I’m a sucker for landscaping, especially at this time of year.  So, if it’s building a stone patio, or creating a new flower bed, I can always find a new project to work on.  Projects can be fun and when you finish them there is nothing more rewarding.  Maybe it’s simply painting a room inside your home or refinishing an old desk.  It really doesn’t matter what it is.  If you are adding some spice to your living environment and using your own sweat equity to make it happen, it will be a fun experience.

Making your own fun is up to you.  You can wait for others to come to you or you can take the initiative and add some excitement to your life. Take it to heart and you’ll be much happier for it…

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It sounds like a simple question, doesn’t it? Well, in my opinion, your answer to this question is a direct correlation to your degree of happiness.  What do I mean by that? For me, the answer to the above question is simple.  The people I spend my life with represent the best people I know. The older I get, the more I realize and appreciate this reality in my life.

Spouse

My wife is the person I am closest to in this world. The next time that woman lets me down will be the first time.  Coming from a man who has been married to the same woman for almost 24 years, that is high praise.  She has been a model of consistency since the day we were married.  She is not a religious person but she lives her life religiously.

One of Dictionary.com’s definitions of religious is

Her principles and values have never been compromised in all the years of our marriage.  Those principles and values have been instilled in our two daughters. You see, my wife stopped working full-time when my eldest was a one-year old.  We both made a decision, approximately 19 years ago, that material gains were not as important as our children having the guidance and nurturing of a parent.  My children, by default, were constantly in the company of a person with the utmost integrity and high character.  I know this is why my kids have proven to be our greatest achievement.  Fortunately, my wife wanted to be with our kids, and it worked out better than we could ever have imagined.

Children

I have been blessed with two beautiful daughters. They are not only beautiful on the outside but, more importantly, on the inside. My eldest ventured off to college this past Fall and entered into a world of independence from her parents. She passed that test with flying colors and is well on her way to a successful future. She has always pushed herself to be her best which is a parent’s dream. My youngest, following in the footsteps of her older sister, is making a mark of her own. She also pushes herself to the limits to be successful in high school and her grades are at the top of her class. She is also one of the toughest kids I know. Both of my children are two of the best people I know. I may be partial, but it’s the truth. These kids know what is truly important in life. If you can say this about your children, you must have done something right in raising them.

Parents

I am the offspring of two very good people.  My mother, a wonderful woman, is loved by anyone who comes in contact with her.  I remember a couple of days before I got married, my wife’s cousin, who was an usher at my wedding, came to my parent’s home so that we could go pick out our tuxedos.  After he spent a few hours with my mother he said, “It’s like I knew her all my life”.  That defines my mother. Her social gifts and genuine caring nature, are her endearing qualities.  My Dad, God rest his soul, passed on March 1^st of this year.  The man lived his life a family man and lived an honorable life.  He didn’t really show affection outwardly but his family knew he loved every one of us. He was a constant in our lives and was married to my mother for almost 60 years.  His happiest days were when surrounded by his family, which is exactly how his life ended.

Siblings

I am the youngest of six boys.  I guess it’s not too unusual that my brothers are also some of the best people I know.  We still communicate regularly via email and in person, if possible.  I know I can count on every one of them if I needed them.  I don’t think that is true of most siblings.  We may not have the same beliefs in religion, politics, etc but we share a bond that can never be broken.  I am blessed to be able to call them my brothers.

So, in response to my question above, the best people I know share my life with me.  I hope, for your sake, that you can say the same. Please share your thoughts in the comments.

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I was putting on my shirt the other day after a great workout at the gym.  And as I was doing so, I felt that sheer sense of exhilaration that I typically feel after a rigorous workout, even though it was only 5:45AM.  I remember uttering to myself

“I wish I could bottle this feeling”.

So that got me to thinking… What if we could bottle different experiences that have had a profound effect on us?  Maybe it’s a certain feeling you may get, as I did, after a strenuous workout at the gym, or after a long ride on your bike.  Maybe it’s an aroma that brings you back to your childhood days.  Maybe it’s a feeling that you had at one point in your life that you simply want frozen in time.

This is a great topic to toss out to the reading audience because everyone has their own personal experiences that they may want to bottle.  I welcome you to share with the rest of us your feelings in the comments.  Before then, I’d like to share with you some of mine.

If I could I would bottle…

The sweet smell of slices of garlic just after they are placed in simmering olive oil.

The exhilaration and utter joy my wife and I felt when my daughter opened up the acceptance letter to her first choice college.

The aroma of burning wood coming from the chimney as I arrive home and open the door of my car on a cold winter day.

The look on my daughter’s face when I told her I was bringing her to her favorite musical, Wicked, on Broadway.

The view of the sun setting over Maui on my honeymoon.

The sweet bouquet of day lilies in the Spring.

The look of joy on my mother’s face when we surprised her with an 80^th birthday party including relatives who came a long way to be there.

The overwhelming sense of pride that I feel watching either one of my daughters performing on stage.

The distinct sweet scent of bacon sizzling in a pan on a weekend morning.

The beauty of a landscape of freshly fallen snow.

The sense of accomplishment I feel whenever I complete a new woodworking project.

The utter joy I felt when the Boston Red Sox won the world championship of baseball after 86 years.

The intense excitement and pride I felt after breaking my coach’s pole vault record as a senior in high school thirty-four years ago.

The radiance and love on my wife’s beautiful face as she welcomed our eldest home from her first year away at college.

The last sweet, loving, smile and wave from my father as I walked out of the hospital room the day before he passed away…

What would you bottle if you could?  Please let everyone know in the comments…

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Seeing that this is a holiday week in the States I want to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving.   And now that I am clearly entrenched in a WordPress environment, it is probably a good time to reflect a bit and to also talk about what is upcoming. I started this blog back in July of 2009 and it has been quite a trip. You might ask what have I learned?

The work is all worth it…

Blogging is a lot of work but, more importantly, I think it has been well worth it.  I’ve always had a penchant for writing but I haven’t always had an outlet to do so.  My day job is in software so being able to create and grow a blog during off-hours has certainly been a creative and welcome opportunity.

The relationships gained are priceless…

I have gotten to know people on the other side of the world through blogging.  In this post I was able to interview two life coaches, one based in Italy, the other in the UK.  I have also exchanged emails with giants in the blogging world such as Daniel Scocco from DailyBlogTips and Jonathan Fields.  There are so many wonderful, giving people out there who are willing to help.  All you have to do is ask politely and chances are your questions will be answered.

The resources are abundant…

The resources out there to aid you in developing and growing a blog are abundant.  Explore forums like the ProBlogger forum or Yaro Starak’s forum and you’ll be able to get advice from bloggers at the highest level.  I joined ProBlogger forum a couple of months ago and there have been occasions where I will get answers to my questions from none other than Darren Rowse, the founder of the ProBlogger blog.

Start and end with WordPress…

I did it the hard way.  I started out with a blogging platform called SquareSpace and, after much deliberation, moved to WordPress.  It was not an easy transition and I am still asking people who commented on my previous blog posts to re-comment so that I will have those comments on my new site.  WordPress has all the functionality any blogger would or could need.  And the WordPress community is vast so finding an answer to a question you may have about blog design or capabilities is probably just a few clicks away.

…And now… Coming attractions…

Every blogger is looking to drive traffic to their blog.  Next week I’m hoping to have a high traffic week.  On Monday, November 30th, I’m kicking off a post called “An Interview with Jonathan Fields”.  Jonathan has been so kind to answer a number of questions I posed to him a while back.  You won’t want to miss this interview!

And then on Wednesday, December 2^nd, Daniel Scocco owner of DailyBlogTips, one of the highest rated blogs on the planet, has agreed to publish a guest post of mine.  I’ve been waiting a while for this guest post and Daniel has been so kind to schedule me in next week.

So there you have it.  Looking forward to an exciting week and enjoy the holiday!

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There is something about the spring and the fall that triggers a cleansing gene.  If you live in a harsh climate, the spring is relegated to cleanup from the winter.  The coolness of the fall invigorates the body and mind to work on projects before the winter bears down.

[cw4]Removing clutter, organizing, and upgrading is the pattern of how this cleansing process unfolds.

DeClutter

Whether it is in your space at work, or in your home, there are areas that you occupy that have clutter.  Dictionary.com defines the noun clutter as a “disorderly heap or assemblage; litter“.  However it’s defined, you know it when you see it.  Removing clutter at work and home can be very gratifying.

Remove virtual clutter from your computer desktop.

I like to have a simple background on my screen and if it is cluttered with unused icons I definitely think it can have a negative effect on my work.

Regularly clean your actual desktop.

Clutter runs rampant on many an actual desktop in the workplace.  By maintaining a clean work surface, the ability to focus on your “big rocks” list becomes that much easier.

Closet Maintenance

Take a morning or an afternoon and make a decision to either keep that shirt or bag it and give it to Goodwill.  You may even have enough for a decent charitable donation to deduct on your taxes this year.

Tend to the kitchen cabinets, drawers, and countertops.

If there is one place in your home that will accumulate more unused product than any other it’s your kitchen cabinets.  Clearing them out and cleaning up may also give you a chance to potentially eat, and not waste, those groceries that you bought some time ago but are still within their expiration date. You can also pick up some kitchen cabinet organizers which will help you organize the contents of your cabinets. And if your kitchen drawers are also full of clutter then dumping them out and adding some kitchen drawer organizers will help you find whatever you need whenever you need it. Clearing off your kitchen countertops will also go a long way toward a more organized kitchen and will also give you more room each morning to brew your pour over coffee. Picking up some simple storage solutions such as kitchen canister sets and a kitchen utensil holder will help you easily access those often-used dry ingredients and kitchen utensils.

Organize

Merriam-Webster online defines the word organize as “to form into a coherent unity or functioning whole“.  After you declutter the next step is to organize.  Being an avid woodworker I like to organize my shop so that I will always know where my tools will be the next time I need them.

Paper can still be your organizing choice.

With the advent of “everything electronic”, the use of a simple day timer is still the choice of many to stay organized.  Every time I work on or complete a task, I write it on the printed calendar to track my hours.  At the end of each day my hourly project work is transferred from the printed paper into a project tracking software.

Hanging files.

There are so many products today for organizing the workplace but one, in particular, is hanging files.  There are also versions of the hanging files that will sit on the desktop but, the way I look at it, why not use the real estate of the walls of your cubicle or office instead of adding more clutter to your desktop.

Your walls can be your friend.

If you have a basement room that you cannot walk in, simply put up shelves on a couple of walls by buying adjustable shelf brackets from your local big box store.  You can use some old planks that you have lying around the house for the shelves or have them cut to size at the same big box store.  Organize everything that was on the floor onto the shelves and you have room to walk and a room that you can actually use now.

Use the space behind the door.

One of the most unique uses of space I have seen used in my own home is a behind the door storage unit.  It basically converted a hall closet into a pantry.  Try it!  You will be amazed at the added storage you now have at very little cost.

Upgrade

Making small improvements in both your workplace and your home in the form of upgrades can certainly be beneficial to your life.

Purchase a headset.

One of the most liberating purchases at work that I have made in the past year is adding a headset to my phone.  The headset has given me the ability to have my hands available to conduct a training session or to give a presentation over the internet.  They are not expensive and your company should have no problem springing for it.

Comfortable seating.

According to Dictionary.com the term ergonomics is “the applied science of equipment design, as for the workplace, intended to maximize productivity by reducing operator fatigue and discomfort“.  In recent years companies have placed particular emphasis on ergonomics in the workplace.  An upgrade to your work chair such as a reclining office chair could alleviate or eliminate any back-related injuries and, chances are, your company will pay to keep you healthy.

Paint a room.

One of the cheapest upgrades you can make in your home or apartment is to paint a room. You can completely transform the look and feel of a room with a gallon or two of paint for about $50 total.  Apart from the esthetic change in the room, you will feel

great knowing that you did this yourself and for a small amount of money and some sweat equity.

Purchase a slow cooker.

Another great purchase that we made in our home within the past year is a slow cooker.  In this day and age where time is precious and limited, a slow cooker is a great time saver.  It allows you to create a meal ahead of time and it will cook throughout the day whether you are home or not.  The meals that you can cook with a slow cooker are unlimited.  We tend to have chili, stews, and pulled pork with our slow cooker.  There are a myriad of cookbooks specifically written for slow cookers.  You not only can let it cook unattended but it also fills your house with an aroma that makes it so nice to come home to.

No matter what the season, cleaning up, removing clutter, organizing, and upgrading can be your steps toward cleansing your space as well as your mind.

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