Comments on: 5 Parental Tips for Dealing with College Separation Anxiety. http://totallyuniquelife.com/5-parental-tips-for-dealing-with-college-separation-anxiety/ Practical Solutions, Tips and Advice for your Life. Thu, 17 May 2012 15:40:24 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Bob Bessette http://totallyuniquelife.com/5-parental-tips-for-dealing-with-college-separation-anxiety/#comment-17010 Bob Bessette Tue, 24 Apr 2012 22:45:01 +0000 http://totallyuniquelife.com/?p=992#comment-17010 Hi Maria, I am partial to your name as my youngest has it. I think that your grandson is very fortunate to have had your guidance for all of these years. Believe me, it is tough to say a temporary goodbye to loved ones when they head off to college. My eldest is now finishing up her junior year and having her close enough to drive to is a great convenience. I know that he will be happy knowing that you are still looking out for him. You may want to read <a href="http://totallyuniquelife.com/she-left-home-bye-bye/" rel="nofollow">this article</a> I wrote about my eldest leaving for college for the first time. Best, Bob Hi Maria,
I am partial to your name as my youngest has it. I think that your grandson is very fortunate to have had your guidance for all of these years. Believe me, it is tough to say a temporary goodbye to loved ones when they head off to college. My eldest is now finishing up her junior year and having her close enough to drive to is a great convenience. I know that he will be happy knowing that you are still looking out for him.

You may want to read this article I wrote about my eldest leaving for college for the first time.

Best,
Bob

]]> By: Maria http://totallyuniquelife.com/5-parental-tips-for-dealing-with-college-separation-anxiety/#comment-17009 Maria Tue, 24 Apr 2012 20:07:17 +0000 http://totallyuniquelife.com/?p=992#comment-17009 My 17 year old grandson that I raised from the age of 2 is off to college in September, and my tears fall at night when I'm alone at the prospect of not having him with me. Afraid of all the negative things we as parents and 2nd time parents don't want to think about while they are at college. I pray that I've taught him to choose wisely and make the right decisions even when he's pressed to do things he knows are not right. I am happy for him, and am glad he's only 2 1/2 hours away so I can drive there if needed, but I will miss him terribly and will worry when I can't reach him or don't hear from him for a few days. I can only put him in the Lord's loving hands and pray he is kept safe. My 17 year old grandson that I raised from the age of 2 is off to college in September, and my tears fall at night when I’m alone at the prospect of not having him with me. Afraid of all the negative things we as parents and 2nd time parents don’t want to think about while they are at college. I pray that I’ve taught him to choose wisely and make the right decisions even when he’s pressed to do things he knows are not right. I am happy for him, and am glad he’s only 2 1/2 hours away so I can drive there if needed, but I will miss him terribly and will worry when I can’t reach him or don’t hear from him for a few days. I can only put him in the Lord’s loving hands and pray he is kept safe.

]]> By: Bob Bessette http://totallyuniquelife.com/5-parental-tips-for-dealing-with-college-separation-anxiety/#comment-11174 Bob Bessette Sat, 27 Aug 2011 00:11:14 +0000 http://totallyuniquelife.com/?p=992#comment-11174 Hey John, Great to hear from you. I am going through the exact same thing you are going through but my daughter is in Ireland for her junior year Fall semester abroad. It's almost like we are doing it all over again because she is so far away. My wife has been skyping with her fairly regularly and she has been a bit homesick. She's been there for just over a week so it's a new thing for her not to have friends and family close by. What I have found is that my eldest, in particular, has become closer to me over the years. Both of my daughters were what I considered Mama's girls but I've noticed a change in recent years. I can relate to getting advice from my Dad. He passed about a year and a half ago and think of him every day. It sounds like you are doing all of the right things. Check out the <a href="http://totallyuniquelife.com/how-your-college-student-wants-you-to-behave/" rel="nofollow">post my daughter wrote</a> a while back and <a href="http://totallyuniquelife.com/separation-anxiety-%E2%80%93-how-are-you-dealing-with-your-child-away-at-college/" rel="nofollow">this one might interest you</a> which has some quotes from other parents going through what you are going through. Keep us updated John. Best, Bob Hey John,
Great to hear from you. I am going through the exact same thing you are going through but my daughter is in Ireland for her junior year Fall semester abroad. It’s almost like we are doing it all over again because she is so far away. My wife has been skyping with her fairly regularly and she has been a bit homesick. She’s been there for just over a week so it’s a new thing for her not to have friends and family close by.

What I have found is that my eldest, in particular, has become closer to me over the years. Both of my daughters were what I considered Mama’s girls but I’ve noticed a change in recent years. I can relate to getting advice from my Dad. He passed about a year and a half ago and think of him every day. It sounds like you are doing all of the right things. Check out the post my daughter wrote a while back and this one might interest you which has some quotes from other parents going through what you are going through.

Keep us updated John.

Best,
Bob

]]> By: John B http://totallyuniquelife.com/5-parental-tips-for-dealing-with-college-separation-anxiety/#comment-11168 John B Fri, 26 Aug 2011 15:45:19 +0000 http://totallyuniquelife.com/?p=992#comment-11168 Well, it will be a week tomorrow. I've had a great phone chat with her, swapped emails and Facebook postings, and I'm getting used to my new, more remote role in her life. It helps that she's having a great time and loves her roommates. If she's having a hard time being away she's not showing it; but then I'm not really showing her my true feeling either. I don't want her to feel guilty when she's done nothing wrong (and everything right). I'm also realizing that parenting is not over. On our call she had questions about college, setting schedules, and she needed a few more things mailed that she forgot to pack. She's still my little girl. I can recall asking my Dad for advice right up until he died. I'd come to respect his judgment and experience, and knew he would always have my best interests at heart. I can see the same relationship forming here - and it's a good one to have; As good as the "end game" of parenting gets. Thanks again Bob, and everyone who posted. -JB- Well, it will be a week tomorrow. I’ve had a great phone chat with her, swapped emails and Facebook postings, and I’m getting used to my new, more remote role in her life. It helps that she’s having a great time and loves her roommates. If she’s having a hard time being away she’s not showing it; but then I’m not really showing her my true feeling either. I don’t want her to feel guilty when she’s done nothing wrong (and everything right).

I’m also realizing that parenting is not over. On our call she had questions about college, setting schedules, and she needed a few more things mailed that she forgot to pack. She’s still my little girl. I can recall asking my Dad for advice right up until he died. I’d come to respect his judgment and experience, and knew he would always have my best interests at heart. I can see the same relationship forming here – and it’s a good one to have; As good as the “end game” of parenting gets.

Thanks again Bob, and everyone who posted.

-JB-

]]> By: Bob Bessette http://totallyuniquelife.com/5-parental-tips-for-dealing-with-college-separation-anxiety/#comment-11052 Bob Bessette Mon, 22 Aug 2011 10:16:38 +0000 http://totallyuniquelife.com/?p=992#comment-11052 Hi John, I guess an 8 hour drive is not too far away. My eldest is now in Ireland which is my <a href="http://totallyuniquelife.com/she-left-to-study-abroad/" rel="nofollow">latest post</a>. So I can't just get in a car and go see her even if I wanted to. Yes, all of those tips really helped us. Subscribing to the school newspaper is great because we regularly get to see pictures of the college and issues that are facing the students. It really does help to stay in touch. You are certainly not alone. And I'm sure your daughter is also having a hard time as well. Thanks for reading... :-) Best, Bob Hi John,
I guess an 8 hour drive is not too far away. My eldest is now in Ireland which is my latest post. So I can’t just get in a car and go see her even if I wanted to. Yes, all of those tips really helped us. Subscribing to the school newspaper is great because we regularly get to see pictures of the college and issues that are facing the students. It really does help to stay in touch.

You are certainly not alone. And I’m sure your daughter is also having a hard time as well. Thanks for reading… :-)

Best,
Bob

]]> By: John B http://totallyuniquelife.com/5-parental-tips-for-dealing-with-college-separation-anxiety/#comment-11048 John B Mon, 22 Aug 2011 04:59:41 +0000 http://totallyuniquelife.com/?p=992#comment-11048 Thanks Bob and everyone who posted. This morning I dropped my oldest off for her freshman year at college, and cried of and on throughout the 8 hour drive home. I thought I was crazy until I got home, googled, found this page and many others, and realized I'm not the only parent that has felt this. I had no idea it would be so hard! One thing I've learned from reading the last few hours is to really up the time I spend with her two younger sisters still at home. Another is to use the Internet & texting to stay in touch with her. I missed the chance to visit the college store - I wish I'd thought of that. I'll ask her to send me a school coffee mug. Lastly, her birthday is coming up - I forgot to ask her what she wants - the perfect excuse to call her in a day or two (her Mom called her tonight, and I think calling EVERY day would be a bit much - much as I want to right now). Thanks again - I don't feel quite so crazy now. Still very sad, but normal sad. Thanks Bob and everyone who posted. This morning I dropped my oldest off for her freshman year at college, and cried of and on throughout the 8 hour drive home. I thought I was crazy until I got home, googled, found this page and many others, and realized I’m not the only parent that has felt this. I had no idea it would be so hard! One thing I’ve learned from reading the last few hours is to really up the time I spend with her two younger sisters still at home. Another is to use the Internet & texting to stay in touch with her. I missed the chance to visit the college store – I wish I’d thought of that. I’ll ask her to send me a school coffee mug. Lastly, her birthday is coming up – I forgot to ask her what she wants – the perfect excuse to call her in a day or two (her Mom called her tonight, and I think calling EVERY day would be a bit much – much as I want to right now). Thanks again – I don’t feel quite so crazy now. Still very sad, but normal sad.

]]> By: Bob Bessette http://totallyuniquelife.com/5-parental-tips-for-dealing-with-college-separation-anxiety/#comment-10947 Bob Bessette Tue, 16 Aug 2011 10:05:06 +0000 http://totallyuniquelife.com/?p=992#comment-10947 Hi Bob, It is difficult especially at first. My daughter has been in college now for two years and tomorrow she leaves for 4 months abroad in Ireland. Now we won't even be able to visit her on a whim (she was two hours away). Good luck with your daughter leaving for college. I'm sure you and your wife will get through it well. I have another <a href="http://totallyuniquelife.com/separation-anxiety-%E2%80%93-how-are-you-dealing-with-your-child-away-at-college/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">post </a>which you may be interested in as well. I think if you use the tips detailed in the post on dealing with college separation anxiety you might find that they help a lot. Good luck! Best, Bob Hi Bob,
It is difficult especially at first. My daughter has been in college now for two years and tomorrow she leaves for 4 months abroad in Ireland. Now we won’t even be able to visit her on a whim (she was two hours away). Good luck with your daughter leaving for college. I’m sure you and your wife will get through it well. I have another post which you may be interested in as well. I think if you use the tips detailed in the post on dealing with college separation anxiety you might find that they help a lot. Good luck!

Best,
Bob

]]> By: Bob Aiello http://totallyuniquelife.com/5-parental-tips-for-dealing-with-college-separation-anxiety/#comment-10940 Bob Aiello Tue, 16 Aug 2011 00:25:26 +0000 http://totallyuniquelife.com/?p=992#comment-10940 Hi Bob; Thank you for all the tips. I hope they work. My wife and daughter went to the college for an orientation weekend a couple of months back. Sunday morning and all day Monday and I'll tell you straight up, I did not do too well. We have a young lady that we took in to live with us that was in an abusive relationship at her house. She has been with us for a year but she is also leaving the same day as our daughter. Its gonna be tough Hi Bob;

Thank you for all the tips. I hope they work. My wife and daughter went to the college for an orientation weekend a couple of months back. Sunday morning and all day Monday and I’ll tell you straight up, I did not do too well.

We have a young lady that we took in to live with us that was in an abusive relationship at her house. She has been with us for a year but she is also leaving the same day as our daughter. Its gonna be tough

]]> By: Bob Bessette http://totallyuniquelife.com/5-parental-tips-for-dealing-with-college-separation-anxiety/#comment-6645 Bob Bessette Tue, 22 Mar 2011 23:06:51 +0000 http://totallyuniquelife.com/?p=992#comment-6645 Hi Debbie, You know, this is the true beauty of having a blog. I am able to share my feelings with a complete stranger and you are able to relate to what I wrote. Believe it or not, that daughter is home now for two weeks for break. This is her second week home and she is now a sophomore and she is hurting a bit this time from a relationship breakup. It's great to have her home but she is not herself but I think being home with us is the best thing for her. We still love her as much or more than ever and I still dread when she leaves and goes back to college. I cry every time she leaves. I could never understand those commercials where the parents rejoice when the child leaves and they target that child's room for a hot tub. I'm never happy when my kid's leave. I am exactly like my father was, God rest his soul. Believe me, you are soooo normal Debbie. All the parents I talk to are sad to see them go. It's a rite of passage but it is great growth experience for the kids. But having them away from the bubble that is home is tough for us parents. But they will grow immeasurably during this time. If you are ever feeling sad and need someone to communicate with just drop me a note at my <a href="http://totallyuniquelife.com/contact-me/" rel="nofollow">Contact Me</a> page. I'm still going through college separation anxiety. :-) Best, Bob Hi Debbie,
You know, this is the true beauty of having a blog. I am able to share my feelings with a complete stranger and you are able to relate to what I wrote. Believe it or not, that daughter is home now for two weeks for break. This is her second week home and she is now a sophomore and she is hurting a bit this time from a relationship breakup. It’s great to have her home but she is not herself but I think being home with us is the best thing for her. We still love her as much or more than ever and I still dread when she leaves and goes back to college. I cry every time she leaves. I could never understand those commercials where the parents rejoice when the child leaves and they target that child’s room for a hot tub. I’m never happy when my kid’s leave. I am exactly like my father was, God rest his soul.
Believe me, you are soooo normal Debbie. All the parents I talk to are sad to see them go. It’s a rite of passage but it is great growth experience for the kids. But having them away from the bubble that is home is tough for us parents. But they will grow immeasurably during this time.
If you are ever feeling sad and need someone to communicate with just drop me a note at my Contact Me page. I’m still going through college separation anxiety. :-)

Best,
Bob

]]> By: Debbie Melendez http://totallyuniquelife.com/5-parental-tips-for-dealing-with-college-separation-anxiety/#comment-6642 Debbie Melendez Tue, 22 Mar 2011 19:13:50 +0000 http://totallyuniquelife.com/?p=992#comment-6642 Hi Bob! While i was feeling down about my daughter leaving for college next year. I decided to Google Child Separation Anxiety and saw your blog. Well I couldn't see the screen for a bit because I got so emotional. There are parents that feel this way. As I read on and felt the love for your daughter, I realized that that was exactly how I feel. I am so close to my daughter (17) I don't know where the years went, I still see her as my little girl. my little girl. I worry about how she will handle the hard times. Thank you for your blog...I feel normal now. :) Hi Bob!

While i was feeling down about my daughter leaving for college next year. I decided to Google Child Separation Anxiety and saw your blog. Well I couldn’t see the screen for a bit because I got so emotional. There are parents that feel this way. As I read on and felt the love for your daughter, I realized that that was exactly how I feel. I am so close to my daughter (17) I don’t know where the years went, I still see her as my little girl. my little girl. I worry about how she will handle the hard times. Thank you for your blog…I feel normal now. :)

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