Comments on: 5 Parental Tips for Dealing with College Separation Anxiety.

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 18:06:36 +0000

Hi Kate- Seems like so many of us are feeling this way. I hope it’s not too hard for you with your son away. My daughter will be going to London (we’re in the UK) on the 18th, not long now. Raising children is such a wonderful job, but having to say goodbye is heartbreaking.

By: Bob Bessette

Bob Bessette — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 11:37:28 +0000

Hi Kate,
Thanks for your contribution. We are in a similar situation with a sophomore in college and a sophomore in high school. I will contact Jennifer to make sure she reads your post (in case she didn’t subscribe to follow-up comments). I’m sure that you have raised two well-rounded, responsible sons. My wife also has focused on raising our children, as I work at a full-time job every day, and with the advent of college, many changes come into play. I’m sure you will do well in your next “life”. You may want to read my post about being an empty nester. Please keep me posted as he goes through his freshman year. By the way, I got my Bachelor’s degree at Northeastern in Boston. I know a lot of changes have taken place there in the past 30 years but I’m proud to be an alum.

Best,
Bob

By: Kate

Kate — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 19:21:48 +0000

Jennifer – you are not alone! I just dropped my oldest off at Northeastern in Boston (45 minutes from home). Even though he is close it is still so hard! I am confident that he will do well both socially and academically, so that does help. I do have another son at home (jr. in high school) and am dreading the day that he leaves! After spending the past 18+ years focusing on my children, it is scary to think about what the future holds for me. Raising my 2 wonderful sons has been the happiest period of my life.

By: Bob Bessette

Bob Bessette — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 17:16:05 +0000

Jennifer, It is very hard. Believe me, I understand. When I hugged her goodbye that first time in her new dorm room, I cried like a baby. I thought I would be able to handle it. I really did but I couldn't. Make it a point to keep in touch with her but give her some distance. It is also hard for her. Let her dictate how much she wants to communicate and just be there for her when she needs you. Subscribe to the school newspaper as I suggested in the article and to any blogs that are at the school. It will certainly help you. Please read this post as it was written by my daughter and it relates to this same topic. In fact she is now starting to write for a blog at school and we are hoping that she enjoys it. One thing I can promise. It gets easier in time and she will come home. It appears that you are both very close to each other which will ensure that she will come home. Please let me know how that first day goes for you either here or use my Contact Me page. I'll be glad to help you through this as an experienced parent. I'm sure my wife will also chime in if you are looking for a woman's perspective. Best, Bob

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 16:53:37 +0000

Hi again,

She’s just about to leave for University (on the 18th Sept *gulp*). We have spoken about how I *should* behave but I cannot get past the fact that she is leaving. We did a lot of stuff together, I suppose I should’ve prepared myself better for this event, but it always seemed years away. It seems to have arrived too quickly, I just wasn’t prepared for the strength of my feelings.

By: Bob Bessette

Bob Bessette — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 21:59:00 +0000

Hi Jennifer,
We just dropped my daughter off at college for her sophomore year. It gets much easier the second time around and luckily we are within 2 hours from her college. Has your daughter just left for college or is she a senior in high school and you are worrying about the impending exodus? Believe me, if you take heed in some of the steps that I outline in my post, it will help. It isn’t a solution but it will help for sure. I’d be interested in more details about your situation.

Best,
Bob Bessette

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 18:45:13 +0000

I am going through this just now. I am an emotional wreck, can’t eat, can’t sleep…can’t imagine day to day life without my beautiful daughter. It’s supposed to be one of the most natural things in the world- so why can’t I deal with it?

By: Bob Bessette

Bob Bessette — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 00:05:13 +0000

Hi Megan Lyn,
Good luck with that. You may also want to read the article on my sidebar entitled ‘She left home, bye bye”. It’s about that same experience. Good luck!

Best,
Bob

By: Megan Lyn

Megan Lyn — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 18:12:49 +0000

Hi Bob,
Thank you so much for posting this. My only son will be heading to college this fall. Thankfully his school is only 147 miles door to door. I often found myself in tears just thinking about not having my “baby” at home every day in a few months’ time. It’s difficult, but I’ll try to follow some of your suggestions on how to cope with my ASAD.

By: Bob Bessette

Bob Bessette — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 21:13:10 +0000

Hi El Sheila,
I’m glad you enjoyed the post. We have had to deal with that anxiety this year and I hope that some parents got something out of dealing with the separation. You may also enjoy this post about my daughter leaving for college for the first time. Thanks for reading and commenting..
Best,
Bob